So look 2 better understand Ashiya you must FIRST understand this. Ashiya and Paris are two different girls(women). And the girl Paris; who I nicknamed Parris was the root of all this nonsense. And then there’s Rayna. Well Rayna is Rayna. There’s really nothing to say bad about her. But before I can explain who Rayna is, I must first start with (Ashiya or should I say LaShiya). So let’s jump in and get right to the chase(and when I say “right to the chase” I mean “right to the point”). Or for others to better understand this phrase; there’s another commonly used phrase that’s used in different places and that phrase is “okay let’s get straight to the point”. This means to get started. So this first girl(Ashiya or should I say LaShiya) definitely took me for a loop. She had me thinking that I would never be the same. But who would have of thought that I would make it out that situation and live to tell about it. But it is sad that things had to end the way they did.

So look I really had a hard time seeing this girl. Even though we were close; and when I say close, I mean close! the closest I’ve ever came to a girl like her. Well sorry I just have take a break. And breathe. Because this girl that I took I mean have come close to see. Well sorry excuse the grammar. Let me take a short break to compose myself and breathe. (note to self: in this story about this woman replace this girl. And put this woman in place of the girl. I mean this girl. Especially her because this girl was no ordinary girl. This woman was indeed a sweetheart). Unlike Ashiya that girl you went up looking for and only to bring you down and man. That girl had you in the clouds(that feeling was real…too real…and too deep!). The shit is crazy and hard to believe. Who would believe that something that small. Man that little shit…Yes that little shit could bring a strong person like me, down. So down and when I say down; I mean me, myself and I(Triple) came down like no one has ever came down. And only to bring me down to propose…and to who is listening or reading this story or should I or we(me and myself and I) say love story. With Rayna. Or Maybe I shouldn’t say anything yet but let me go on head and say this. But with Ashiya; the girl who took me down that route and for me to(sorry my nickname is Triple sometimes refer to me, myself and I as just that. [note to reader: read my other stories and one of them explains why and how I got the name from the jump]. But as I was saying Ashiya had me(the same way she can have anyone or tell anyone in the clouds); and just like me and yes I could tell and from the jump. And let me add this about her so please listen I’m going to say this very slowly. YOU…SEE…HER? and again I’m going to say this one time or two times because hold on let me tell you about this girl. This girl was beautiful and from my world. Well you see she was American and the reason I became a United States Of America citizen) and having a son; it just made sense to do so.

And coming from another world(and when I say another world I may country) like going to Paris and I’ll tell you how I even got to Paris. Because coming from a different world and to go to a country like Paris is just not a simple road to cross. You would have to be strong and not a chicken to go crossing that road. Which I did. A man not a chicken crossing the road. But that’s another story. Indeed that’s the type of story people ask about and you have to give them the story of how it was; in a way that’s factual about how you(and in this case when I say You; I mean me) or me got 2 Paris. And that story was one of the first of me going into another world or should I say another country; that I decided to call it HOW I GOT 2 PARIS. And yes that trip was about a girl.

My first girl out the country. Now back to Ashiya. And no I didn’t forget about Rayna, we will continue with Rayna in a minute. But let me end this story about Ashiya (who I nicknamed LaShiya because she was like two people). LaShiya (well let me just call her Ashiya because it will start confusing all of us). So Ashiya brought me down. To my knees. I proposed you know…proposing like marriage. Well I don’t want to call it marriage or anything like that because when I proposed for us to be more than friends…yes more than a friend like best friends. I ran! Why? Because she didn’t say anything. No response no nothing. This is something you don’t say to someone especially in a world or a world in your mind that’s hard to analyze or believe or may not believe you’re in. Especially when a girl you have never seen smile but have met a few times in life. I’m talking real life. But when you have those feelings to be more than a friend, and for someone to give you no response; it makes you want to get up and run! And I ran and kept running. And I kept running thinking to myself…one day…she and I mean can turn around or better yet she just needs to smile! Can you(and I mean me) just picture people who don’t smile to turnaround and smile! Jeez! For crying out loud be happy! And simply be you and be joyful! Yes happy or go find somebody and be happy. Thank GOD and again I thank God I’m full of joy and that’s the way I choose to be. I must admit I’m not always happy but I’m full of joy or at least try to be. Because this road of life can be depressing at times even when it’s with you and only you. Because in different paths of life we all take we may come across a situation where a part of you is happy but the other half is not. Or even worse a part of you is there and the other part is not. It’s like how some mental patients are.

What I’m saying is you will not be happy or may never be until you find you. Whether you’re gay, straight(which is another term for heterosexual), bisexual (and I know some of us out here may or may not be). But we are all people and we need each other. And if we don’t have each other just remember this. There are beings(people) out of this world who do. Me being in America I came to find that those beings(people) reside within me and those beings are me, myself, and I. And you also have those beings(well the proper term is persons); you also have those persons too. I can’t really speak for you but those beings are within you. And that’s you and only you that can bring them out to help you, and even rescue you in life especially when you’re dealing with hardship. I’ll actually found those persons while being in a America; and honestly they came out on my trip to Parris; sorry I may have missed spelled Parris I meant Paris. That trip to Paris was something else. And I really need to make sure that I’m spelling or saying the name right. Because names like that can be said a certain way and come out wrong. I knew a girl named Parris but only to find out that it was not her real name. Sometimes you think you know something or better yet you may think you know someone but only to find out that you don’t! Who people say they are and who they truly are, are two different things! And Parris, yes I’m talking about Paris, is one of those things! And in different places(and I’m referring to other countries and even Paris) they may use terms or phrases like “be gay” but nonetheless they are saying be joyful. Or by definition simply be happy. So to anyone and everyone out there in this world or living in another world, when living life remember to be happy. As they say in Paris “be gay”. Let’s be honest and be straightforward and I’m straightforward yes I’m not happy as some of y’all may define being happy. But I can say I’m full of joy and I thank God for that. That’s a different type of happy for most. I say that to say be happy whether you define being happy as being gay or being heterosexual. Especially when it comes to serious topics like so, just remember whether you like this person or that person(or a combination of two or more people) and that person doesn’t like you(the way you like him or her or them) or does like the way you like things, just remember to be joyful. And remember that you’re not alone; there is always a person(you may say maybe it’s just me)…yes indeed there is and to tell you the truth and I mean even more there are people there where you live (that you may not even see at times) that have cared. From the jump. Because believe it or not we all do love each other. Again we may not see it, but me myself and you(and when I say you I mean the person reading this), who that I may never see but I know you is there. Yes you is…sorry I meant you are…and you are present. And I am also present. And God knows and believe me he is a gift to us! We must be reminded that he is always present. No matter how big life may present itself we must thank God for being there on this road of life. We are together in this lifetime, together. Yes me and you and you living inside or outside this world or my world or outside his world. He is always here. 

You are not alone. And that goes for me as well because I two be forgetting I always have SOMEONE to count on. Especially when you’re feeling down just look up that person and or people are always around. Whether you see them not believe me and please believe; they are there. But anyway back to being happy(and some by definition and some places Don’t go assuming things Understand what I’m saying(and this also applies to Ashiya) because this may go over all our heads If you see that someone of us but not all of us are truly happy. are joyful but not full everyone You should be I’m happy to say I’m joyful and There is nothing wrong with that.

Now back to Rayna. Rayna was a sweetheart. I could not see myself from not wanting to be with a girl like her. I wondered if she could even see me. Because the thing is she wore glasses. And I did too(well sometimes because I only needed them to see far). And even driving around going in circles I was I had those special glasses. The type of glasses that can help you see when things are coming. Like with Parris or when it came down to someone like Ashiya. I wish I could have seen where those two females would lead me. Again especially with a girl like Parris. I seen never ever thought I would wind up in place where I would went up. But enough with talking about the places I ended up in…or with that girl and her and the other girl. But the road I took to go see Tynisha(this special woman is the mother of my son, Stephon). That road(which was not like any other road I have ever took…but it was the type of road you come across in life and yes this road ended but boy it took me from a boy 2 a man. But that’s also the type of road that can beginning from somewhere. You just have to go and find it and jump on it. Yes they say all roads must come to an end but boy I don’t mind taking that trip on a road like that. I’ll do it again and again and again. Those roads are one of a kind and they may end for most. But a road like that is always a brand new start that helps me grow into becoming a better, stronger man. And besides that’s where my son lives so I have to go see my son.

Okay enough with the other females let’s talk about Rayna. I really want to see Rayna and see those pretty eyes of hers. I hope she sees me the same way I see her. But the thing about Rayna is she’s white. And I’m black. Can two people like us(a black person and a white person) go down that route and mix? And you may get it mixed up and ask…but I’ll answer the question before you even ask it. No I’m not racist! So that’s why and again I felt I had to take that chance and just go for it. And guess what? I went…well I called her and she came over. And when she came I was so happy. Afterwards she told me she had to go. I didn’t hear from her for a while but eventually we spoke. Because remember I had her phone number. So I got a text message from her saying hi how you been, etc, etc. And more words came after that and what she said scared me . Let me tell you what happened next. It had me so messed-up in the head that I had to block her. I’m telling you it’s a scary thing going down this route.

I’ll tell you what happened the next time I talk to you and yes I mean you ! Ok look, why wait until the next time? I’ll give you a brief summary of what happened.

It was nothing. Absolutely nothing. And that scared me. Because by far she is the sweetest girl I have met in my life. Are there any other sweet girls out there? We’ll just have to see.