Naptown

See look I stay in a place where I don’t see many people. I still get out…well, not really… I mean I’m usually in my own world(my own place). And where I’m at I choose to stay…to myself but not intentionally. So the thing is, I’m so used to being where I’m at that it’s really become the reason I don’t go out(well there’s a part of me that wants to come out). Let put it like this, I still get out time to time but not as much as I really want. Umm maybe I…shouldn’t say it like that. I have to watch my words because some things in life can be taken the wrong way. Especially if you say something and just walk away. And no I’m not talking about my time in Paris, with you know who.

The thing is, words can be connected and mean something or they can still mean something even by themselves. Even if you break down a word and take it from another word; it can mean something. But at the end of the day, words are words. Now an action-word is something I want to talk about. It can mean a lot and the thing about words is just that. They can mean a lot.

That’s crazy the more I think about it. So look let me show you. I’ll show you exactly what I mean. So check this out…[SELF note: This is for you too. Yes YOU reading this. There are going to be slang words and phrases I may use throughout this book.] So there was a time I was gone and found myself in a place where I couldn’t go anywhere. Yes I could not go any-where. And yes, I could not see anyone or any-thing. I could only see…well let me stop. Because I need to watch what I say because I don’t want to start sounding like I was still seeing people and still getting out. Because when I say I was gone it’s sorta like(kinda like) I was out…of my mind. And that can be taken as, being in your own world. And that world can still have people in it. And those people could be you, yourself and…you(me myself and myself). And some people may say those are not real people. And I can understand some people who may feel that way. And I promise not to take it to the beginning of my testimony(yes my first testimony. I spoke about me myself and I). Because once I take it there; to the beginning, what I say will never ever end. But I will take it to…well I will take and I mean take my testimony in a whole new direction.

So anyway let’s go back to what I was saying. I was gone which is still getting out(even in my mind I was still out…however you look at it), yes I was out into my own world. And that world just so happens to be a world within a world. Yes a big circle(planet earth, that continues to go around and around). Rotating. I was out there. Talking to someone. Even though that someone was real to me and only me; I was still out. Now to the people who say that, when I say the phrase “me, myself, and I” feels that’s not a real person, what defines a real person? And no this is not a trick question, it’s a real question. You see what is not real to you is one thing. You can say it’s not real to you. But what is real to someone else is something else. Meaning it’s real to them.

You see words are a reflection of us. We are the words we speak. A person’s words are a reflection of their inner thoughts, feelings, and even character. The things or some of the many things that makes a person who they are.

This may be defined as your words play a major part of your existence. When you are born, you speak. When you are happy and want to show or express your joy, you speak. When you are mad or when you want to express your other emotions like crying, anger(a more extreme version of mad), guilt, or even embarrassment, you speak. Even if you choose not to speak, you’re inner thoughts are an alternative way of speaking. Yes thinking is a part of a thought and thoughts carry words that are just waiting to come out…into the world. I say this to say, that you will always speak even when you choose not to speak. So whether you’re just thinking of a word(words) or you choose to say the next word that comes to mind, you’re talking(speaking).

So there is a commonly used phrase(that some people may or may not know) and that phrase goes something like “What’s on your mind?”. That phrase allows a person to respond or not to response at all. So, with that phrase you can say something(a verbal response) or choose not to say anything by simply shaking your head(which is a physical and verbal response). And I say this to say, that you will always speak no matter what. As long as you live on this earth you will always talk! I mean speak.

And for the ones who are still waiting for the moment I start talking about Naptown, please be patient. I promise I will get to it or should I say I will take us(me, myself and I…and you) there. But first let me say this, this is really important.

You see, we are a reflections of each other. I am you and you are me.

And again for the ones who say or feel that me, myself and I(we) or us are not a real people, I just have this to say. Look in the mirror. Yes go find a mirror and look. You see that person you see there; is a person that is lost. So lost that he or she don’t know…or even know who he or she is anymore. So lost that he or she is stuck in a world; a world of their own. You see people who are lost are people who are mad. Mad(and I’m talking mad as upset) that they(he or she or them) that they just need a hug. A hug from THEMSELVES. And the only people that can hug them is us or themselves. Yes we need to hug these people and let them know where they’re at. It’s not their world that you’re in, this world that they’re in…is for us. Yes us. Me, myself, and you, and them. Yes them(the people that are lost). You see the issue that our city and other places have, is us. Yes us! We never ever take the time to see how important we are to each other. Let me try to explain this so you can get a better understanding.

I am a reflection of a person that you know. And that person is a reflection of a person that he knows. And she is a reflection of a person that she knows. And that person(she) is a reflection of this person, and that person(this could be him), and that person and on and on and on. The best way I explain this, is I choose to use dots. Dots represent all of us. We are all dots in this world that I choose to call a circle. Yes I call this world(earth) one big circle. And in this circle we(the human race) are dots. And the thing about dots is they connect. Dots can be connected with each other; but the thing is they really need connections. Yes they need a connection, and that connection is a connection that comes from a big connection(a special source). And that special source(big connection) is you. Yes YOU! You have a connection that everybody-sorry I mean all of us-need.

I’ll explain that later but for now let get to Naptown! So look one of the things I love is music. Yes music. Times have changed or is it “has changed” but nevertheless it’s the truth.

And the thing is, we music lovers can see the future. Even the ones who don’t enjoy music(non-music lovers) can see and know that music will always change. So let me be really specific with this music. So look I love Hip-hop and a mixture of other music and I’m talking all types of music. From this genre(like rock music) to that genre(like African music), to this music to that music. Now let’s put me to the side(I’m still going to be here) and let me ask you. Yes You. Why do you like the music that you like? I can tell you before you can tell yourself. But I can’t tell myself as fast as I can tell others. I can always try though.

So in the city(the place where I’m at), there is a rapper named Parris LaDame. She is very talented. And there is a rapper/afro-beat artist named Dwani; who seems to be doing bigger and better things. Then there’s my homegirl. My homegirl Tori; who seems to be doing bigger and better things too. Oops, did I say Tori? Sorry I didn’t mean to say her name. Because the thing is back in the day I knew a girl…named Victoria. Victoria who did music and whenever I do a list; a list of artists, I end up mentioning her. It seems like she’s one of those people that’s automatically on the list whenever I talk about an artist or music in general. Okay so moving along, then there’s Sta’bon. My nigga Sta’bon is still doing music…wait hold on. Sta’bon is another one of those people. I don’t even know what this dude is up 2 but he is automatically on the list too. The crazy thing is I text this dude(me and him share the same niece) this dude never responds. Makes me laugh because it seems like it’s impossible to get in touch with people(I’m talking everyone) especially nowadays. Anyway then there’s Mark Battles. Wait I don’t know if he even does music, anymore. You see there are(were) a lot of artists especially back in the day, that we’re doing big things. And are still doing big things but it’s hard to keep up with what artists(musicians) are up to these days. Because it’s seems like it’s so many new artists(musicians) that are doing music, and we don’t know who they are. Or who is who. And I say this respectfully. And some artists sound the same and some even look the same. But let’s not (and I mean me) try to be mean. Because at the end of the day, these artists are part us(the team). Yes we are a team. A team that is going for that WIN! Yes we need to win together and be successful and make each other’s dreams come true. Yes!

And before I continue my list, let me also add this. As I saying earlier and I’m saying this now, we have to connect. And the thing about dots is they continue. Yes they continue…yes dots continue to connect but we (and yes I’m talking everyone) have to continue connecting…these dots. You see these dots present all of us. The musicians, the hairdressers, the beauticians, the photographers, the fashion designers, the models and everyone else in different fields(different professions). And if I’m forgetting anyone else I mean you too. And let’s also not forget about the hustlers. Yes the hustlers (anyone that’s trying to make a dollar; trying to make ends meet, and trying to feed their families); let’s show them love. It’s important that we connect and show each other love.

And the most powerful way to connect is showing love. Yes let’s show love to each other and let’s connect. And let me also add this before I get back to the list. The effective way(s) to show love is…you know what let me tell or better show you examples. If someone has a clothing line, you can simplify wear their clothing. And if you have swag(that’s slang for style) mix their clothing with your clothing. That there is showing love. If you come across an artist(musician) from our city, listen to their music and or help promote their music by simply sharing it. You can share their music to your friends, your co-workers, your family or on social media. Because social media has become the wave(the way) to get peoples’ music out here(out there). Let me also add this on how to show love to the musician, you should go to one of their shows. And I almost forgot…the comedians. Yes let’s show love to the comedians. Because these are the people that bring joy and a smile on our faces. Without smiles we might or may scare each other off. So we have to thank them and anyone who brings smiles on our faces. Especially with things like customer service. We have to thank them and like people who do hair. And who do make up. It’s people like this that we have to thank because these people help us and keep looking good. So if you’re looking to try something new or just want to be different, I really encourage you to try something new! Be different! And if it’s anyone that I’m forgetting that does things for people, or even for themselves(yes you) let’s show them love!

Ok now the next person(s) on the list or team is Te’Shay. Now the thing about Te’Shay is she could rap! However I lost track of her because she changed her rap name. Which is a common thing in music and even in real life. People change their name(s) all the time. But we just have to remember a name is a name, but who we are(our existence) is the thing we must NEVER FORGET! Like our people that passed away. They are still here with us; these people will never die and will always be here with us. I’m talking YOU, me, and us. And I say that to say, that Camohsotatted was one of those artists on this list, of musicians. He was an artist, tattoo artist, model/role-model and overall a great; good musician. He touched a lot of people! And will forever continue to touch people, spiritually. May he Rest In Peace, we miss him and I pray he can continue to touch and connect with other artists and everyone in the city. He’s like an Angel to the city.

You see the thing about angels is you can’t see them but deep down inside, you know they are there(here). They can be that man or that woman on the street, that bum you see, that employee that so happens to be mopping(cleaning) the floor; washing dishes, taking your order, serving food. That person you look down on or even up to, is an Angel. Yes people(especially the ones you look down on, are usually the ones that are angels). Because the thing about angels is they disguise themselves. Angels are not allowed to reveal themselves until the time, has come for them to reveal themselves. And the thing is, most of us(we) are angels and don’t ever take the time to see it. You see, angels are meant to protect and to save. Sort of like that waiter; that is serving you food. His or her many jobs(yes employees can have multiple jobs/duties) is to give food, that you paid for, which SAVES YOU from hunger. Some may disagree(and say it’s themselves that save themselves) because they paid for the food. That’s very true, you should give yourself credit, because you also play(played) a big part when it comes to saving you. Yes you have the ability to save you. It’s like an alcoholic(s), once his or their minds are gone(meaning lost), it’s UP TO their inner self(their other self)to find the way to get them(lead them) to rehab; or to safety. Because the thing is alcoholics and among other people(like mental patients) FIND THEMSELVES, talking to themselves. This can lead them in places they should or should not be. You can say people like them and all of us, can be out of our minds and it is up to us(we) to take us back into the place we familiar with.

And the thing is when we are in our minds we find ourselves in a place; this place can be a place we are comfortable in, our comfort zone. But look the thing is when we are in our minds – our mind can be in so many places. There is a phrase some use and that is “my mind is going in so many places”. This phrase is used when an individual is feeling crazy or thinking too much(which is not good for the mind). And understand this, the mind and the brain are one in the same(meaning the same thing). When that individual is thinking too much or even if that person(that individual) is okay and just in their own mind; they can end up lost(meaning gone). And sometimes when you are gone or lost; you may find it hard or impossible to get back into the real world.

So when we are in our minds(and you can even live in your mind); we may not see that these places are places that we shouldn’t be in. The thing about us as humans, is we were made to interact. And that is good for the mind. So I say and continue to say. Get out and interact! [AUTHORS NOTE: But let me say this. Because this is very important! And this is for my young readers and listeners or anyone who is young and listening. DO NOT TALK to strangers. Please go in a place that has an adult(a grown up) that you know. Understand that this conversation was meant for adults(grownups) and some things are for adults and adults only.]

And we as humans were born in a world that is a real place. The world in our minds is not a real place. When we talk to ourselves that is a different analogy (as I like to call a “different perspective”).

Understand characters. Me my and I are characters or better yet, characteristics.

When you talk to yourself, as I always say there is a “me, myself, and I”. These persons(beings) live within us. These are characters that are the three beings(the persons). And these 3 beings can be looked at, as being one person(one being)…and that being is me. These character(characteristics) make me. You have to understand that there is a big difference between a real person and a real character. And the best way to describe a character is by knowing the definition of a character. A character is characteristic or characteristics, that assists in the identification of a species. Or another way to define a character is the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual. A character can be a person’s personality and among other things. However you look at it, a character is something that makes or defines you. You can say your inner you; again your personality makes you the person that you are. And this next thing I’m about to say may or may not pertain to what I’ve said, but it help proves a part of my theory. This is about going back and forth and about words and interactions. There is commonly used phrase that goes something like “Your inner self is talking to you”. And that inner self is me. Or not to scare you, you are simply talking to yourself.

And the thing is, Your INNER SELF can advise you. A good example to explain this…is an Angel. And that Angel can be you. Yes you can be your own Angel. Or you can have angels that live inside you. And these Angels(people or yourself) particularly people that are deceased, usually live or can live in you. And again I repeat… WE(humans) are a reflection of each other. We(humans) live within each other. I live in you and you live in me. It’s sorta like the other phrase that many of us know(or have heard); that defends my theory about me myself and I(us); “We have the same personality”. This phrase simply means we are the same. The personality that makes you, is the personality that makes me. That personality(word) is the definition of Character. Which is saying that we have the same Character. Your character is my character. That character is one in the same. Which means it’s the same character(makes one character). And that one character is a combination of me and you. And if you have read my other stories then you know that me and you are the same person(the same being); the same species. And that ONE being(species) is YOU. Just look and you see that there is and will always be ONE YOU. [AUTHOR’S NOTE: but you can never forget that I am here. That part of you that you fail to see. Or just don’t realize is there. Right beside you. Look at it this way I am the dot. My name is TOD. And no this is not a trick theory or answer. But the reason I choose to name myself TOD is because I know you’re clever enough will see that TOD is the word DOT spelled backwards. And the thing is, I know you’re probably sick of hearing that word. And when I say that word I mean “the thing is”. Or are you tired of me saying the name TOD? Before you answer that question let me tell you this. I already know the answer to your question. Because the thing is I never asked a question, I just gave you a response. And if you fail to understand what I am saying is because you’re too slow. Too slow to understand that i didn’t say a word. You said everything that I have said and will continue to say. I am you and are me. You see all those words have 3 letters. And if you’re like me then you see that’s there was actually one letter missing on the word ME. And the thing is that letter is you. Yes YOU. Because the thing is I’ve told you that you are ONE person. Or should I say the ONE. and you’re the only ONE that help us to connect. And if you haven’t read my other testimonies and I’m going to keep saying my testimony, because this is deeper than most people especially religious people to understand. And if you don’t know where or how to start connecting, I’ll tell you how. Look The next time you go out (whether that’s in your mind or out in the real world. Look for someone who doesn’t look like you and just ask them this: “Do you know anyone named Tom?” Yes ask do they know TOM. And if they look at you strange tell them you meant the name “DOT”. If they respond and give an “yes”, then good…you have started to connect. But if they choose to walk away, that is also okay. And again to my young readers/listeners this is not for you. Only do this if you have talked to your mom or dad; or any adult that you look up to, that has given you the green light(which means go) to go and connect. Because the thing is if that person that walked away turns around and looks, or even if they don’t look, just remember this. They are one of those people that we should try to connect with. Because the thing is(and if you’re tired of me saying “the thing is” don’t worry I’m almost done, I promise!) We don’t need to know each other to connect with each other. As long as we can get out and just walk up to each other, and try to interact with each other, that’s a good start! And if you heard what I said earlier, that kid that should only talk to someone he(or she) knows, that kid is you. Yes you! And that KID is that person looking down on him(or her) telling them it is okay to go…to connect. Because even if the adult(you) or the kid looking down on him(the kid) and telling himself or herself to go head and connect. It’s sounds confusing. And sorry that kid sounds crazy. Yes he is(or she is) crazy. And I’m saying that respectfully because we as adults/youth need to use our brains. And we must use our brains and stop calling each other crazy. Especially towards the kids. Because the thing is(I promise this is the last time) kids will be us. And the interesting thing about kids is they are smarter than adults. It is proven kids have higher IQ than adults. It’s like me and this book or should I say this testimony, I misspelled words, probably used the wrong grammar and put dots and periods probably in the wrong places. And some things didn’t make sense. But that KID knew what made sense and what didn’t make sense. Because kids know and no I’m not trying to kid with you. So whether that kid was you or someone in our minds(or a reflection of someone else) he or she was smart enough to listen; to all I had to say and understand something. And that’s all I’m trying to get you to understand. To understand some thing. And some thing can be me, you, this or that. Thing can mean so many things.

And even if he or you only understand parts of what I say, I just want you to be smarter. Because even if you learn one or two things you have become smarter than you were(and I say this respectfully). And I want us(we) to show respect to each other.

And check this out. The kid(was and is) smart enough to see and understand that this book was and is about a city. I prefer to call it a world but let’s just say city. But city with dots. And those dots have a dot(you can choose to call it a special dot) just waiting. And the thing is I lied about something. and I’ll tell you what I lied about. The thing is, I’m going to continue saying “the thing is” only because I’m really crazy. Yes crazy enough to touch(which means get to) someone I don’t know. And yes I don’t know you and I just touched(which is my way of connecting the dot) you.

Look I don’t think you understand. I love to get to people. Yes I love to touch people (and I’m not talking about the type of touch that you might be thinking of; because I know it’s people that are not right in their head. These are people that play too much). When I say touch I was talking about connecting. Connecting…requires a touch. Don’t get me wrong you can also make connections with things like interaction(interact) or things that don’t require a person to use a physical thing to get to that person. The thing is I got connected with you. Which was a goal of mine. Whether this made you mad or not. And if you’re mad, I really apologize. I did not mean to make you mad or if I drove anyone crazy, I’m sorry. Because look the other thing is, we really need to stop driving each other crazy. Yes crazy. And we need to take the time to look in the mirror and see that we are the problem. Yes the problem is us(we). And we need that ONE PERSON to fix this.

And if you know my theory about US is US is NS upside down. You see, when it comes to power and connection, there is a thing called NS. Yes NS. NS is a power-source(indication) that is needed for a connection to be turned on. Have you ever heard of the phrase “Turn on the power”? We(us) need you to turn on the power. The thing is, the word us means nothing. Yes we don’t mean NOTHING without. I need you to look at the word US; you see US upside down it reads NS. And NS is that power source that we need. That we need to connect. I’m saying this because this is very IMPORTANT information that you need to hear. And comprehend.
We are POWERLESS without you. And the reason I said We(and I’m talking us) are upside(not right, which means crazy). We are crazy and not right WITHOUT YOU. We don’t make sense without you. We need you…to turn on the power and connect with us. Because when we connect we can-be up. And thats what we and our city need to be. Be Up!

And if you forget everything I’m saying it is okay. I’ll remind you. Or TOM or TOD will. Or one of my female friends will. [AUTHOR’S NOTE: And some of y’all may think it’s Ashiya or LaShiya or Paris or Rayna or the other Parris. And again when I say Parris, some people may mistake me for knowing or being friends with the Parris that lives here(in the same place as the other Paris). Wrong Paris! There are so many people with the same name, in the place and may even look the same. But anyway let’s get back to what I was saying].

Because you can walk away and act like my words don’t matter. But I can tell you this; they do matter. Everything I say does matter. And you may not like what I say(or how I say words); but they will get to you, and eventually matter. You see WORDS WERE NOT MADE to be liked; they were made to be used. We use words all the time that we may not necessary like, but we may use them to get a point across. Or we may simply use words to express emotions and etc and etc. Nevertheless words are words. And remember words can physical effect us. Words can hurt! And these words are action words.

Let’s dig deeper.

For instance, you may use words to get to someone and it may not work. But if you use other words, or maybe even the same words just in a different way, you may then get to that person. And I say that to say my words will matter, to you. I just have to use other words, explain to you so you understand. And if I really want to get to you, I’ll get someone that you know (who I know) to explain to you. So you understand.

Okay let’s cut the words…I need you to understand. Please hush, no more talking!

If you’ve slept throughout this whole thing just remember this; you have found yourself in my world. My city. My place! Yes This is my place! And in my place there is a rule. And that rule is…connect! Yes connect the dots! And if you don’t connect the dots, I will let you go. Yes you can leave! But if you leave and decide to place yourself somewhere else; you can thank me. Yes THANK ME for letting you go and Yes YOU ARE WELCOME. Welcome to come back and connect. And if you still don’t connect, I will come to your place…and when I say place, I mean home. You see your home is my home. And no I’m NOT A CRIMINAL! Listen I’m not saying this the way some of Y’all may be thinking. What I meant is your home is my home; your house is my house…we live in the same place. The same city. Naptown; is the place to be! And we both happen to live in the same place. The same state. The same world. But we, must be out of our minds. And that is says we be crazy! And it’s only crazy people that talk to each; and go back and forth with one another. Two people stuck in the same world. And those people(those two people) are me and you. And as I said before; connecting can start with yourself. And I am you. And we are here just waiting for another you(or me) to connect with us(we). Welcome 2 Naptown. And you can take a nap…I’ll let you sleep.

But I will have to wake you up! Because you must be out your mind ! To think this is a place you can just sleep! No! Wake yourself up! Or I will wake you up! This place is not for just one person. It’s for all of us! And we need you! Yes you. To join us. All of us are a team! There’s no I in team. But there’s a me in team. You can look at it the way you want. But let me show you something! The letters in TEAM, they can be lowercase letters or uppercase letters; you see the letters are shaped. Those letters have curved lines and straight lines. And I say that to say, we can form a connection in so many ways. And directions. And what’s crazy is no matter how you look at the word TEAM there’s me and some lines. And those letters T, A are lines. And I got those lines with me. And if you take my lines somewhere else and don’t acknowledge me(or we or don’t look at me as the BIGGER PERSON; yes I am the bigger person. I’ve been and even now I’m being the bigger person)…I will get a line from someone I know. And trust me I’m connected with someone! And it’s someone (we can find, that has a line). And I will use that line!

And NO I will not whoop you. I will you let go with TA. And Let you think that you won. Because in my city we let fools go. We always catch them later. And laugh at them. For thinking to take a thing that connects us(or to take me out of my team) and think that you won. No you lost! Because this is the city that we let people sleep and when it’s time… we wake them up ! You can cry and run to your mama or your dada! Because baby, we don’t play! Don’t assume and assume this is the town(the place) you can just disrespect and think that’s it! No! And I say NO because once we say NO it’s our people(or one of us) secret way to say “it’s ON”. Because ON is how we see that we are connecting and connected. And you cannot come and start taking from TEAM.

Look Mr. bad guy, that TA is something that belongs to me. And me I mean WE. And that TA simply says. TEAM. You can go this way with the TA. Or that way. BUT eventually you will see ME…No matter where you go…And if you think you’re slick(smart) and go the other way (go backwards) believe me you will see where you’re AT. Cut me out or cut me off you will see where you’re AT! Because understand this and don’t be a fool. Letters are made of lines, and lines that go up, sideways, upwards and some even curve. Those lines are like wires and our team are wired and connected. So if you take a line that connects us or even just one line it’s a big deal. But to take two letters especially that ones that came from us, the team. That’s a no-no! And that tells me and I mean we that it’s on, it’s really on! And you have to taught a lesson. Because you’re acting like a baby. And you’re the type of baby that only needs one lesson! And the first thing is, TA is nothing that you play with. And to take T-A from the team; that’s me and we is a problem. Because you need to understand that TA; is a thing that makes everyone here a team. We connect and will continue to connect.

And baby, it’s time for you to go to sleep! Welcome to Naptown.